Blog Challenge Day Three: Three things you want to say to three different people.

  1. Every person in school that ever bullied me (and there were ALOT of them): I grew up fine, no thanks to any of you. While you were calling me names at 12; the names I didn’t even understand then, I was dealing with abuse at home and having to fend for myself all the time. While you were making fun of me for my mom being on welfare, I was making KD for myself while  my mom worked two effing jobs just to keep a roof over my head. While you were calling me fat, I was starving myself and hating what I saw looking back at me in the mirror. Anyway, I survived all of that and blossomed into something better than any of you will ever be.
  2. I won’t actually name this person, but they’d know who they were if they ever read this: I wanted nothing but to be your friend and have you actually give an eff about me, but you couldn’t. You didn’t like how people showed their concern for the REAL stuff happening in my life during our high school years. I was dealing with an effing mother who was doing crack and rarely ever around and when she was around, she was awful to be around. At 13, when you told me to go kill myself because you stupidly thought I, like you, cut myself for attention. I didn’t. What I did do, that night while my mom was away at work, was find her Trazedone (antidepressant) and swallow a literal handful with a cup of water. I called you after and you didn’t seem to give two shits. I’m lucky I didn’t DIE, but you didn’t care. Throughout the years, I trusted you over and over again and you just kept back stabbing me and making me feel so alone and excluded with our group of friends. I remember the last time I trusted you… I found out I was pregnant when I was just a month shy of 19. I felt so alone until I found out through a mutual friend, that you were going through the exact same thing. I reached out to you and told you all about what was going on. I trusted you. And then… I find out only months after moving away, that you told A BUNCH of people all about me and my struggle. I don’t have time for people like you anymore. Friends don’t effing do that. You are no friend of mine. 
  3. Morgan, the man I’m gonna marry: I’m so lucky to have someone as compassionate as you in my life. In such a short time, you’ve helped me blossom in so many different ways. I’ve never, ever been so happy in my entire life and every day, I fall for you more and more. I look forward to forever with you.

Earlier start today. I’ve already had my morning cup of coffee and my routine wake ‘n’ bake. My lovely boyfriend and I had our neighbor, from the floor below us, come by and fry up. Now I’m floating on a cloud and enjoying the great conversation.


I’m not sure what is yet in store for the day, but bring it on!

2018 is most definitely gonna be the best year of my life. So far, many changes have come my way, but every single one has been positively; good change. I already have so many goals for this year and for once in my life, I have faith in myself that I will accomplish absolutely EVERYTHING.

One of my goals for 2018 is to get back into writing daily and creating short fiction pieces. I really miss writing and now that I’m happy, I want to create, create, create! I was hoping by starting this blog, I’ll feel more inclined to write and express.

I’ve met and fallen for the man that I’m gonna marry. I have never believed the whole “soul mate” thing until Morgan walked into my life. I have never, ever felt this way about someone else before and I’m gonna hang on to him forever. I’m so lucky to have met such an incredible human being.

One thing that hasn’t and will never change, is my enthusiasm for cannabis. By becoming a stoner 6 years ago, I’ve been able to recover from my 9 year struggle with Anorexia Nervosa. Obviously, I’m not completely cured of the disorder, but cannabis definitely keeps me from starving myself. Not only that, but it has helped change how I think/feel about myself. I no longer hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I no longer see fat that isn’t even there. Weed isn’t a drug, it’s a lifestyle. MY LIFESTYLE.